Different people from churches…that show up without judgment. People that can present as gracious…People that can come in with the sense of…”I’m going to accept you whatever, no matter how bad it is.” You get that sense of genuineness.
There are several things that faith community leaders can do to help protect people from developing disordered eating, and to provide a safe and supportive space for those who are experiencing eating disorders. This is a way of embodying Jesus to those who are suffering.
Mental health struggles are common in our society, and Christians are not immune. Faith communities can play a valuable role in providing support. In fact, Christians often reach out to their faith community before anyone else when they are experiencing mental health concerns.¹ On the other hand, if no one in your faith community seems to be affected by mental health struggles, they probably just aren’t talking about it.
Churches can foster a supportive environment for people experiencing mental health issues in several ways. One of these is by encouraging awareness. Acknowledging that Christians can and do struggle with mental health issues can be helpful. Transparency and openness can help people feel less alone. Raising awareness that many factors impact mental health conditions, and that they do not result simply from personal sin, lack of faith or demonic influence, can help to address stigma and shame.
Given how common mental health issues are, and the fact that clergy and pastoral carers are often the first line of support, they may benefit from relevant training. Examples include mental health first aid training and education about trauma informed care (such as resources available from the Blue Knot Foundation).
Embodied grace is perhaps one of the most valuable things a Christian faith community offer someone affected by an eating disorder.
People with eating disorders often struggle with a sense of not being ‘good enough’. For Christians, this can include a painful sense of not being a ‘good enough Christian’. Perfectionistic personality traits and a tendency to black and white thinking can predispose toward developing an eating disorder. These may also make a person particularly sensitive to teaching that they perceive to be about ‘keeping the rules’ or striving for excellence. This can encourage them to focus on religious performance, especially if teaching is not framed in a context of grace. Being aware of this and considering how it might inform your communication could be helpful.
On the other hand, learning to understand and embrace God’s unconditional love and grace can be deeply healing for Christians experiencing eating disorders. Christian faith communities can be places where grace is not only taught but lived out. A church that values all people as God’s deeply loved image bearers can provide a space where people can learn to feel safe and have space to change and grow.
Faith communities often provide coordinated support for people experiencing crises, such as grief or a serious medical diagnosis. Mental health issues may be more hidden, yet often represent a crisis where a coordinated response can be helpful. This should, of course, respect the person’s preferences around confidentiality.
Some churches have structures to facilitate mental health support. These vary depending on the context. They might include initiatives such as mental health ‘safe rooms’ where people can retreat if feeling triggered, designated pastoral care teams, or employing someone trained in mental health to support leaders and pastoral carers in this space.
A member of the church community might meet with an individual or family affected by mental health struggles to compassionately seek to understand their perspective and needs, and to discuss how the church might offer support. Church leadership teams who are aware that a member of their congregation is struggling and would like support could also meet to make a plan for this. This could be reviewed as needed to reflect changing needs and resources.
It is difficult to watch people go through painful experiences, especially if the ‘answer’ to their problem seems simple. In eating disorders, people may question why the person doesn’t ‘just eat’, ‘just exercise more self-control’ or ‘just have more faith’.
This bemusement and frustration are understandable. However, eating disorders are not simple, and they are about more than food. Christians can find great comfort in people simply walking alongside them in their struggle. Carers may deeply appreciate it when people simply , and , even when they don’t understand or can’t offer answers.
On the other hand, trying to ‘fix it’ can be alienating. For example, people may feel that their pain has been minimised or avoided when they receive well-intentioned encouragement to without deep listening, or reassurance that . They might feel that responses like these imply that they would no longer struggle if they repented, prayed harder or had more faith. This can exacerbate a sense of guilt and blame.
Christian Scripture offers rich resources for those who suffer. It acknowledges that often we do not know the reason for our own or others’ suffering (Job 1, John 9:1-3). It offers expressions of lament that give voice to pain (such as in the Psalms of lament). It encourages us to bear one another’s burdens, weeping with those who weep (Rom 12:15, Gal 6:2). And without in any way minimising suffering, it offers hope that God will redeem it – just as He redeemed the most seemingly senseless and horrific suffering of Jesus to bring resurrection life (Rom 8).
Church communities that acknowledge the mystery and pain of suffering, yet don’t succumb to despair, can offer a place of refuge and comfort.
It’s normal for people to have times when they question and doubt their faith, especially during the transition to adulthood (when eating disorders often begin), and when they experience significant suffering (like an eating disorder).²
This can create significant anxiety and distress about questions of meaning, identity and the nature of the world. It can also be uncomfortable, or deeply concerning, for members of their faith community.
God allows space for questioning and doubt (such as in Job and the Psalms, for example). Offering reassurance that it is OK to ask questions, or to feel ‘not sure what I believe anymore’, together with offering ongoing support, can alleviate anxiety and provide space for people to work through this. Ultimately, this can lead to developing deepened faith, transformed faith, or disengagement from faith. This uncertain outcome can be difficult for Christians who deeply desire those whom they love to remain in Jesus. However, allowing honest questioning enables people to develop internalised belief (or unbelief) rather than simply external religious conformity.
Experiences of trauma and abuse are common in people who develop eating disorders. Unfortunately, some people with eating disorders have experienced this in Christian contexts. This can include spiritual abuse, which is ‘a form of emotional and psychological abuse characterised by a systematic pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour in a religious context or with a religious rationale.’³
Most churches have procedures in place to prevent, recognise and respond to abuse. As you are aware, it is important that leaders and church members are familiar with these. There are also resources available addressing this topic.
People who have experienced spiritual abuse may have difficulty engaging in religious environments. This can be a physiological response to trauma. A trauma-informed response can help people who are experiencing this type of distress. The Blue Knot Foundation offers helpful resources regarding trauma informed care.
Food, health and body image ideals permeate Western culture. The ‘ideal body’ is often portrayed as thin; or as lean, fit and muscular.⁴⁻⁵ An entire industry markets products that promise to achieve this ideal, like diets, ‘clean eating’ regimes, supplements and fitness plans.
Christians may consciously or unconsciously absorb these cultural ideals. This is an insidious issue and often difficult to recognise. People with eating disorder experience give examples like:
These types of experiences can add additional moral weight to cultural health and body ideals. For some people, these ideals become intertwined with their image of a ‘good Christian’.
Simply being aware is the first step to addressing this issue. It is important to be sensitive to the wide variety of experiences with food and weight that will be present in a faith community, and to recognise that there can be a fine line between diet culture and a helpful pursuit of health. Some things that you might consider include:
Fasting is an important part of faith practice in some Christian traditions. This can pose challenges for people who have, or are at risk of, an eating disorder. You can help to mitigate this risk by always assuming that these people are present when you discuss religious fasting. Some simple things that you can do that may help include:
Depending on where someone is on their eating disorder journey, they may find it helpful to engage in social events involving food, or they may avoid these events because they are simply too frightening or difficult. This is one reason that eating disorders can be very isolating.
You might consider offering some church social events that are not centred around food (or exercise). This might help to alleviate some of this social isolation.
