Here are some tips from people who have experienced eating disorders about how to respond helpfully to people in this situation.
Underestimate the seriousness of eating disorders
Recognise that eating disorders are serious illnesses
Tell me to ‘just eat normally’
Recognise that it is extremely difficult for someone with an eating disorder to eat ‘normally’; be non-judgemental
Give me advice about what to eat
If appropriate, encourage me to engage with eating disorder healthcare professionals for dietary advice
Comment on people’s appearance (mine, yours, or others)
Talk to me about things other than physical appearance. You might want to say something like ‘you look happy’ or ‘you seem peaceful’, instead of ‘you look well’. (If you tell me I look well, I might think you mean ‘you’ve gained (or lost) weight’; this can be triggering)
Talk about diets or exercise regimes around me
Talk to me about our other shared interests
Judge me for having an eating disorder, or tell me I would be better if I just had enough faith
Recognise that eating disorders are complex and multifactorial illnesses, and offer non-judgemental support
Offer eating disorder treatment that you are not professionally trained to provide
Encourage and assist me to access eating disorder treatment from appropriately trained healthcare professionals. The Butterfly Foundation offers guidance about how you might approach these discussions.
Tell a group of people about my eating disorder as a ‘prayer request’ when I’ve asked you to keep it confidential
Pray for me on your own. And if appropriate, ask how I would like you to pray and offer to pray with me. If you feel you need support for yourself as you support me, there is some guidance about how you might approach this here.
