It’s possible that eating disorders might be discussed in some church small group contexts. For example, a group might be doing a topical study on Christian responses to mental health concerns, or someone might share their experience of an eating disorder.
If you’re leading a group, you might want to consider doing mental health first aid training. This will help equip you to facilitate a safe environment and respond to mental or emotional distress.
If eating disorders are discussed in the group, it’s important to be aware that people who have been affected by eating disorders (personally, or in someone they care about) are likely to be present. They may not disclose this experience. Be conscious of how they may be affected by the discussion. It can also help to establish some group guidelines, especially if you are expecting these discussions.
These are examples of some group guidance that you might like to consider if you expect to be discussing eating disorders in a group context:
Eating disorders are serious, and can be life-threatening. Early specialised treatment is one of the best predictors of recovery. Groups can provide social support and encouragement but they are not a substitute for professional care.
What is said in the group, stays in the group. For example, it is not appropriate to share information as a ‘prayer request’ without the person’s consent.
If the facilitator has concerns about a person’s safety, they may share this with people who need to know to help keep the person safe. They will usually discuss this with the group member concerned first. You might like to read someone in my church has told me that they are engaging in disordered eating and asked me to keep it a secret for more information about these situations.
The facilitator will give guidance about whether it is appropriate to eat during the group. Some people experiencing eating disorders may feel uncomfortable eating or watching others eat during the group, and people should not feel pressured to eat during the group. On the other hand, some people with eating disorders need to eat at specific times on medical advice and may need to eat during the group for this reason. Facilitators will consider their specific context when deciding how to approach this issue, be up-front with the group about the approach taken and be open to feedback.
It’s OK to ask questions and wrestle through issues that arise in the group. However, remember that it’s likely that someone who has been affected by an eating disorder is in the group. Be careful to avoid comments that pass judgement. Use ‘I’ statements when expressing questions or opinions, not statements that attribute blame.
It is very important that group members do not offer medical, dietary or exercise advice. People with eating disorders have individualised needs regarding nutrition and physical activity, which may be quite different to the general population, and even to another person with the same type of eating disorder. It can be very difficult for people who are experiencing eating disorders when they encounter multiple competing ‘voices’ giving them different recommendations regarding diet and exercise – leave the recommendations to their team of healthcare professionals.
Discussion of ‘numbers’ (such as weight, BMI, calories, number of admissions etc.) can be very triggering for people who have experienced eating disorders. It can also encourage comparison. For example, people may dismiss their own symptoms of disordered eating when they compare themselves to someone who seems ‘worse’ and not seek help. Or they might feel that they are not doing ‘well enough’ at engaging in disordered eating behaviours compared to others and their symptoms may worsen. On the other hand, people may feel hopeless if their eating disorder seems to be more severe than other people’s.
The group should be underpinned by an understanding that God makes our bodies in many shapes and sizes, and these are unique and good. Avoid making comments that stigmatise certain types of bodies (including your own). If people express distress about aspects of their own body, encourage them to phrase these as their perception, rather than as fact (for example, ‘I feel upset about the size of my stomach,’ rather than, ‘My stomach is fat’). Avoid comments about others’ appearance – even well-intended positive comments (for example, ‘You look well’) can be triggering for those recovering from eating disorders.
Many people who experience eating disorders have suffered trauma. It is important for survivors to feel that they do not need to hide experiences of trauma. However, to avoid triggering others, details should not usually be shared in a group context. Traumatic experiences are more appropriately addressed individually with a trained professional.
You are free to step out at any time if you are feeling distressed. If you are comfortable, let the group know if you feel triggered, so that the conversation can be redirected if appropriate. The facilitator will check in with you about how they can assist, and follow up to help you link with further supports (see resources section).
The resources section provides information about where you can access crisis and professional support, if needed.
