‘It’s someone I trust, someone who I respect, someone I look up to. That was very much the relationship [I had with this] youth leader…He very much helped me out, particularly in the early years, whether it was a shoulder to listen to or…another helpful voice.’
Eating disorders often begin in adolescence – in fact, almost a third of eating disorders develop between 14 and 18 years of age.¹ So, it’s likely that you will encounter young people with an eating disorder as a youth leader.
You don’t need to handle this alone. You can offer valuable support, but it’s not your role to be an expert in eating disorders. And if you are a junior youth leader, remember to reach out to your youth pastor or other senior leader in serious situations like this.
You will usually need to involve the young person’s parent or guardian. Ideally you would do this with the young person’s permission, but sometimes it may be necessary even without this (see Someone in my church has told me that they are engaging in disordered eating behaviours and asked me to keep it a secret).
If you’re worried that a young person might have an eating disorder, you may need to share your concerns with their parents/guardian and encourage them to seek professional support (see resources).
If a young person is being treated for an eating disorder, you might consider discussing the supports that they need while in your care with their parent/guardian. This might involve practical things like meal supervision or limiting physical activity. Be open with the young person and their parents/guardians about what you can and cannot provide.
Clear communication is particularly important if the young person plans to attend a church camp or other situation in which the youth leader has a prolonged duty of care. In this situation, you might consider developing a written plan with the young person and their parents and/or healthcare providers. This might include things like the young person’s food, physical activity and medication needs; any supervision and support required and who will provide this; when to notify parents or healthcare providers; and situations in which the young person may need to return home for their safety. If you are unable to provide the support required (in addition to your other responsibilities), be open about this. A parent might need to attend camp with the young person, or it might not be the right time for the young person to attend. Frame these discussions with the young person as a way to help and care for them, not as a punishment.
It’s also important to remember that a young person’s eating disorders can affect their peers. It isn’t the peers’ role to provide care or supervision for a young person experiencing an eating disorder. Instead, they might focus on doing activities that they enjoy together. Peers can also become distressed when their friends are struggling and may benefit from counselling and support. At times, intervention might be needed if unhelpful attitudes toward food and bodies or unhealthy behaviours are spreading among a peer group. Take copying behaviours seriously and help peers who engage in them to access support early.
You might want to have a look at the Butterfly Foundation’s resources for supporting young people with eating disorders in schools for further information.
